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Renewal

It’s about walking past the wicked

The wicked that despises you for being you

It claws at your eyes for seeing clear

Bites at your heels while you’re walking in the right direction

It’s about seeing through the madness that is drama

Unnecessary, filthy, pointless drama

It scratches at your brain for ignoring negativity

Burns at your flesh for cleansing its dirt away

It’s about locking away that depression

The depression that makes you feel numb and see black

It stabs at your heart that’s beating for love

Rips away pieces of your soul that’s craving warmth

It’s about looking the enemy square in the eyes

Confessing your strength to never give up while keeping yourself together

Preaching that frown into a smile to enlighten this new reflection

It’s about holding your head high and telling yourself

"I’m going to be just fine"…

2/19/13

I Got Away

I like to think of myself as the one that got away

The one that refused to kiss your ass when you wronged me

The one that didn’t accept material things to make me forget the hurt

Lord knows I wanted to give you my everything without a price

My big heart, attention, care, affection; just everything

I wanted you all to myself but you still wanted to be for everybody

Sorry baby but that’s not how I operate

You want half of your women to think they’re #1 while you give them the feeling to look at your others as 2s and 3s

You’re bestfriends with one, financially comfortable with the other and together they give you any and everything

Of course in return you toss them a token for a job well done as they continue to swoon over you

Quite frankly, it seems they’re perfectly fine with that

And you knew I wasn’t about to put up with that because I’m not like them

But me, I prefer what’s real

I wanted that unconditional, unbreakable, soul to soul love

That territorial “I go to sleep and wake up to what’s MINES” type of love

You know, that coming home to a hot dinner then we have each other for dessert kind of love

You pray for me, I pray for you, we pray for us to make it type of love

As fucked up and lost as you are now you’d think I’d despise you

Don’t get me wrong I used to but that was when I cried endlessly and woke up emotionally sore from the blows you gave to me

I wanted you half way to hell for pushing me in the mud for a girl who quacks louder than Donald Duck

But see, I once saw you as my husband, father of my kids, King of my castle, captain of my ship

I was going to enhance your character by being another solid support system

Possibly become the best woman to ever capture your heart and not break it

This all could’ve been a wonderful unity, however, you didn’t want to put forth the effort because you’ve been hurt before

Which I do understand but you compared me to her without giving me a chance

Seeing where you are now and hearing the tales of how you yearn for me while drowning in guilt

I proudly smile as I swiftly toss my locs behind my shoulders

Your loss

Oh well, it’s clear you knew what was best for you, so I wish you nothing but the best my dear

2/6/2013

Mindless Behavior

It’s amazing how you try to look your best

With such confidence higher than the rest

When you close your eyes at night for rest

Questions of curiosity point to yes

Knowledge enlarges like an all day test

It’s brutal how you punish yourself with much guilt 

With such self-esteem lower than a stairway being built

When you wish upon a star about the way you’ve felt

Powerful answers are being threaded into a quilt

It’s crazy how your mind plays silly games

With such appearance and thoughts magical than a supernatural blame

When you express your emotions for advice to claim

Feelings from blushing leave you ashamed

Reality sometimes drift off in worlds of fantasies 

Starting with your name

3/2/04

Inside

I see you as you stare back at me

You have no choice but to

Our eyes look into the deja vu of such future

The tip of our fingers connect

Energy flows like electricity 

I feel your mood rise with excitement

Watching the curves of our lips form a smile

Imaginative, Loving and Fearless

Is the soul inside that we bare to hide

It shines through with such pride

Brave, Caring and Passionate

Is the heart inside that beats away the fear that passes by

It pumps loudly with such power

You may look like me according to the visible eye

Even though you imitate the gestures from my face

You are only one imagination to the average mind

An image, split personality, the self spirit

My Reflection 

7/4/04

The Poetry Within

A magical world of fantasized emotions

Words of mankind expressed through emotional gain

Poetry is a spiritual gate waiting to be opened

A well prepared vow to a loved soul

Sacred treasures of silver, platinum or gold

Poetry is an enchanting book waiting to be told

A musical story of admiration and compassion

Expressions of sadness, anger and happiness

Poetry unfolds the inner you within your outer appearance

A beautiful portrait of colors from God’s rainbow

Speechless combinations spilled in ink on paper

Poetry to me is The Poetry Within

Mrs. Gardenia Holiday

I feel her pain as she speaks of heartbreak, the piercing of betrayal punctured through a soft beating heart of love

I hear her happiness as she speaks of romance, the gift of praise shared between two lovers

She glows in the misty night, while wandering through the forests of life in all white 

The gardenias are the lights to which they guide her into the realms of stability, intertwine in her hair

With a voice of sorrow, determination, harmony, integrity, passion, soul, tragedy; this lady sun danced with the radiance of emotions

This lady had sung the blues true enough, however, underneath the blues was a metaphor for life

The blessing of rhythm bathed in the silk her gift shared to with the world 

As a tadpole, while other little girls shopped for dolls and enjoyed China tea parties, this lady distributed her pride and physique to every perverted, lifeless being just to buy her dream 

The troubles from being sheltered by an abusive family burned a scar in her mind, enabling her to support her needs through mischief 

Now, a sassy, well-sophisticated beauty full of the dignity and courage that was lost back then

Every syllable slid vigorously from her tongue, as the word howled from her lips

She made those present listen relentlessly to her, as she retold their stories of survival

“Goodnight, my love”, she bows her head in charm

Now it’s your turn of showing the struggle, intrigue Mrs. Gardenia Holiday

7/14/06

Severely Missed

I miss him severely, while baring my all towards the sky

The pain seeps through my heart as I cry to the moon that he isn’t with me anymore

Little does he know, I remain calm to the full capacity

Stronger than 15 tons of concrete poured into foundation

However, I’m wetting my pillow soaked with endless tears

Staining the floors with timid pieces of my soul

He’s pushed me out of the faith and I fell to the unfaithful

I thought he lifted me up high and held a stool for me on top of the Earth

As I did the same, building the leading stairs for him to my heart

I feel like I’m lost without his guidance, the roads are binding into difficult knots

My hands aren’t eligible to carry the same stroke as they once had 

My lips aren’t powerful to possess the same plumpness as they once held 

My face isn’t elegant with no need of reconstruction as it was before

I feel like I can’t speak my mind or place my thoughts out on the table

My life is similar to a deck of cards, waiting to be dished out to the world

Yet, they’ll remain solid in one pile longing for any open opponent 

I miss him severly, while baring my all towards the sky

10/6/06

Foreign Cleansing

I listen to my soul that speaks in tongue

Breathe and communication through my God

Rejoice with the sweet breath from my soft lungs 

I praise my beauty in unison love

My face is Heaven truly and divine

Intelligence is my mind’s gift from above

I move to the steady rhythm of beats

Left and right, up and down, inside and out

Graceful with persistence I’ll move my feet

I see a great everlasting vision

I remain at peace without any collision

3/17/05

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